The Two Blind Men

2 December 2005: Friday of the 1^st Week of Advent
Matthew 9, 27-31: The Two Blind Men

Blindness is a distressingly common disease, and those who are afflicted plead for healing. The Gospel tells us that their hope hinges on Jesus. Verse 18 of the first reading tells us that the day will come when the blind shall see and the deaf shall hear.

But not all those who are blind want healing. After all, begging is an easier way to eke out a living. Or, we hear on television stories of many prisoners who would intentionally commit crimes in order to be brought back to prison. Being in prison has advantages: food is provided. There are many people who in the depth of their hearts do not dislike their weaknesses. They do not wish to lose their sins especially if they derive pleasure and comfort from them. For those who are involved in graft and corruption, they do not actually wish for its abolition. Alcoholics and drug addicts do not wish for freedom from these addictive substances. Many people do not desire healing. Or else, the very source of their relief and enjoyment vanishes. Thus, Jesus did not answer their shouts at once. Jesus wished to be sure that they were sincere and earnest in their desire to be healed. Jesus wanted to be sure that their request was genuine and that their sense of need was real.

Advent is a season of healing and growth. It is a time when we bring to God our wounds and illnesses, and sincerely plead for healing. It is a time when we should take a moment to think about what we need to bring to Jesus for healing; to identify our pain and wounds; and to accept the fact of our blindness and brokenness. St. Ignatius in the Spiritual Exercises recommends that we should be clear with the desire we request of God and that the grace being asked is articulated. Are we sincere and genuine enough to desire healing? What would we say to Jesus if He asks us what we need?

Second, it is interesting to note that Jesus answered their desire, not in the streets, but when they have come to him in the house. You see, it is only when we are faced with ourselves and when we are alone with Jesus that we are able to be honest with ourselves. It is when we are alone that our wounds stare at us closely. We can hide our wounds and dark secrets from a crowd; we can make promises to God like an avid fan for all to hear; and often we shout to everyone what they would like to hear, so that they will appreciate us. We can loudly claim our commitment to Christ in the middle of a spiritual whirl and when we are emotionally charged like many who went into the Days With The Lord, or a charismatic fellowship, or a retreat that employs letters from parents and significant people to highlight affirmation as an experience of God’s love. But what matters is what happens when the crowd is gone, when the emotional high has dipped, and when we return alone to the privacy of our rooms, if not our existential isolation.

The description of ‘character’ by Billy Hybell is interesting. He defines character as who we are when we are alone with God; who we are when no one’s looking. It is easy to become a disciple in an applauding crowd. Jesus compelled these two blind men to face him alone and discern their desire. There he asked them, “Do you really believe?" A wound or any disease like blindness can consolidate and reveal our true character, our true self, our real home. Our wound can thus bring us to who we are, to that inner home which we yearn for. And thus healing happens in the passage of time, when we face ourselves squarely and answer truthfully the questions raised by our wounds. It is an opportunity to get to know our true self. Carl Jung said, “if you get rid of the pain before you have answered its questions, you get rid of the self along with it.”

Advent is the time for self-awareness, and for answering the questions of our sickness, our pain, and our brokenness. What are the areas in our life to which we are blind? Has our enthusiasm to work for God waned? What contributed to our disappointment and the diminishing interest in our work or in life in general? Why are we apathetic to realities of poverty and injustice around us? Is there a relationship that needs restoration? Although many truths in our lives are painful to accept, the very awareness of these wounds helps us to see our true selves. When our eyes are once opened to the truth of our lives, healing happens. Growth occurs.

Quality Foundations

1 December 2005: Thursday of the 1^st Week of Advent
Matthew 7, 21-26: Sts. Edmund Campion, Robert Southwell & companions

I found this story years ago. It is the perfect story for the Gospel today about the house built on rock. Let the story bring you to its very point.

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor.

The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.”

The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we’d do it much differently.

But we cannot go back. We are the carpenter. Each day we hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall.

The reason we study is for us to render quality service in the future. How much we put into our studies would reflect the quality of our work in the future--- and the quality of our lives. When we study, we act on what the Season of Advent asks of us: the virtue of patient preparation. Studying is our way of constructing our house.

The point of the Gospel is this: Only a house whose foundations are firm can withstand the storm; Only a faith whose foundations are strong can survive the ebbs and tides of life; and only a life whose foundations are sure can stand the test.

Our attitudes and the choices we make today build the ‘house’ we live in tomorrow. As we celebrate the Season of Advent, let us look at our choices and see whether we are building wisely!

The Virtue of Flexibility

30 November 2005: Wednesday of the 1^st Week of Advent
Matthew 4, 18-22. Feast of St. Andrew, the Apostle

The feast today provides a respite from the apocalyptic literature following the last week of the liturgical year. The gospel does not speak of fire and brimstone, but of gentleness. It does not speak of the desolation of Jerusalem and captivity, rather, it speaks of men consoled and captivated by Jesus. But more importantly, it speaks of two things: that discipleship is borne out of companionship and the appeal of Jesus’ person; and second, that the mission of Jesus is shared.

Matthew’s gospel introduces the disciples who will form Jesus’ inner circle. Today we focus our attention to Andrew, Peter’s brother. First, Andrew like the others was simple and ordinary. They were not learned nor taught under the mentorship of a rabbi. Second, Andrew was at sea, fishing like the hundreds of fishermen plying Lake Galilee. Josephus, the governor of Galilee and a great historian said that three hundred and thirty boats sailed the lake. Third, Andrew, at Jesus’ beckon, left his net and followed him.

We take the cue from here. We are indeed learned. We are products of good schools and we have undergone the rigors of application and training in top universities or companies. Intellectual arrogance can be our downfall. The political climate today calls us to learn from the ordinary folks to whom we pledge our service.

We are in a crisis. We must be ready to drop our nets anytime we are called to action. The world does not revolve on our world and our schedules. I guess this is where many student leaders or organizations meet their challenge. In a call to be flexible, they become rigid owing their allegiance to tradition and history. For example, we hear them say, “We have been singing for years at this definite time and date, we cannot move to another time slot”, “Since the beginning, we have been the pillars of this parish”. They forget that the dynamism and life of an organization lies not in their history, but in their ability to respond to the present situation and current crisis--- not the past problem; not the challenge of a by-gone era. To respond to the call of the Lord at this point in our lives is the message of the Gospel. Furthermore, in the present call to unity --- to synergize and develop the ability to work together--- we find ourselves more concerned about ourselves. If there is a personal selfishness, there is an organizational selfishness. We forget that love means cooperation. We forget that Jesus called people to mission: to go out to the world and tell the good news. To bring people together is precisely the gift of the Holy Spirit. If persons and people and organizations claim that the Holy Spirit is with them, there is a way to know whether it is true: do they bring people together--- again not in an exclusive way? The Church was born at Pentecost, because people were brought together in the love of the Lord and one another. We cannot determine other people’s lives. Instead, our life must be determined by our ministry and the people we serve. And our response must be quick and urgent.

A final word: in the Gospel of John, Andrew was the one who brought Peter to Jesus. He said, “We have found the Messiah, the Christ.” Like Andrew, we are reminded that our primary task is to bring people together. As Andrew brought Peter, the would-be leader of the Christian Church, may we also encourage leaders or potential leaders to selflessly dedicate their lives to the community they are called to serve.

Reclaiming our Dignity

29 November 2005: Tuesday of the 1^st Week of Advent
Luke 10, 21-24

The final verses of the Gospel today tell us that Jesus is the peak of all history. In the Gospel, Jesus turns to his disciples and said, “Happy are the eyes which see the things which you are seeing for I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see the things that you are seeing and did not see them, and to hear the things that you are hearing and did not hear them.” Our faith affirms that the ultimate desire of the kings, prophets and those in the Old Testament is to see the fulfillment of the promise of Yahweh. The books of the Old Testament are sprinkled with Yahweh’s promises of salvation, and the deep yearning of the people of Israel for its fulfillment. And God has fulfilled them all in Jesus. And the succeeding generations such as ours always look back at Jesus, finding answers to all our questions about our existence.

To put it in terms of our modern understanding, it is like evolution, the slow ascent of human beings from the level of the lowest forms. Jesus is then the end and climax of the evolutionary process because God and humanity has become one in Jesus. Thus, if we ask what does it mean to be human, we look at Jesus and we find the ultimate answer and meaning to our existence. If we ask about who God is, we look at Jesus and we find God himself. Our faith is the only faith that claims to have seen God and place human beings at a notch higher than any genus or specie: we are not just creatures, but our dignity lies in our status as children of God. It is said that Christianity is a simple religion: we act according to this dignity, to our nature as God’s children.

And thus in the season of Advent, we re-assess ourselves according to this dignity. It is the best time for us to re-evaluate whether we have led lives worthy of who we are as God’s children. One of the images of this re-evaluation is perhaps in a person who is about to visit someone he loves. He looks at himself closely in the mirror, fixing his hair, looking at his over-all appearance. Does he look worthy of the visit? His appearance marks the importance of the event like dressing up appropriately for a wedding. But just like any exciting event like Christmas, we can get caught up by its frenzy: organizing Christmas parties and family gatherings, the frantic shopping spree, the annual cards to relatives and friends. And we forget the essence of all the frenzy; the meaning behind all the harried activities. It is like being stuck to the Old Testament’s waiting and preparing, and Evolution’s slow climb, but never arriving at its peak.

In the end, we find that the Christmas season is over like all other Christmases. And we return to life as usual, year after year. Stagnant. Inert. Torpid. Dormant. We cannot indeed avoid the hustle and bustle of our lives, the conflicts and challenges of daily living, and the rhythm of passing seasons.

But to make our moments meaningful, we can always refocus our hearts to the whys of seasons like Advent and Christmas. These seasons lead us to a return to ourselves, to reclaim our dignity, and to come home to God. We can refocus by asking this question: What will all this mean when I die? You see, death gives us a perspective on life. And as Christians who see death as a time when we finally come home and meet God, the perspective of death can help us evaluate, re-align and pattern our lives according to the life of Christ. Profoundly, if death is the time when we meet Christ, then all our earthly existence is the Season of Advent.

Homecoming

27 November 2005. First Sunday of Advent
Mark 13, 33-37

At 37, I realize that half of my life has been spent away from home. But then, even my childhood centered on days at school and nights with my friends. I was hardly home. A scene from the movie, Cinema Paradiso* by Guiseppe Tornatore, shows the return of Salvatore (Jacques Perrin), a renowned film director, to his hometown in Giancaldo, Italy. He returned to attend the funeral of Alfredo (Philippe Noiret), his long-time friend, confidante, and mentor. As he returns, he reminisces about his childhood and adolescence, going back to the places and people he has not seen for decades.

Advent is a season for those who have been away from home for decades. It is a time for exiles. A time of yearning to come back home. The atmosphere of Advent revolves around the experience of the Hebrew exiles, their cries of repentance, regret, and pleading. Like many Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) who left their families behind. Our homelessness may also mean a spiritual, psychological or emotional separation: when we know that we are not true to ourselves. Many have been exiled from themselves because they anguish over some things in them that they cannot yet accept. Or that we have been exiled by others. Members of families are separated from each other; others live together but are emotionally distant from each other. Some people have been refused admittance in some societies because of their marital status, sexual preference, ideological stance or organizational affiliations. There was a time when no fraternity/sorority member could join UPSCA and ICTUS. In addition, some are not yet at home with their past. If we find ourselves displaced and transplanted like many of the students who have left their hometowns to study here at the University of the Philippines; if we find ourselves in a strange setting as discovering a sub-culture in a university; and if we find ourselves in exile, Advent is the season for us.

In one of the flashbacks of the movie, Salvatore falls for a girl named Elena (Agnese Nano), but his deeply-felt passion isn't reciprocated. So he agonizes over the situation, seeks out Alfredo's advice, then makes a bold decision: he will stand outside of Elena's window every night until she relents. In the end, love wins out, but Salvatore's joy is eventually replaced by sadness as Elena vanishes forever in his life. Alfredo advised Toto, as Salvatore was called, not to return home. When Alfredo died, he left Salvatore a montage of all the kissing scenes edited at Cinema Paradiso. And as he watched them all, he realized what has been lacking in his life: his true love.

Something in us always needs to be called home. Advent is a time for us to be aware of what we lack and who’s not home: to see who our true love is. We need to see what or who we lack inside. Advent is a time to reclaim what we have lost in our lives. Advent focuses on our own place of exile and whether or not this Jesus who was born on earth has made a difference in our lives. Do we have a great desire and yearning for God to fill the void inside of us? Advent focuses us on the empty spaces in our hearts.

Cinema Paradiso connects with people through memories. Advent connects us with people and with the past; and be reconciled with it. Advent is a season to remember that Jesus has already come, and that he has offered us many insights and examples for our own homecoming. As we enter into our desires to return home, we also hold the consolations of God close to our exiled hearts: the God who assures us of hope and comfort, peace and security, when we return home. Advent is a homecoming, a time of joy and a renewed enthusiasm as we hear God’s promises again to be with us and to resettle us back in love. Though we hear the songs of Advent, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” and “O Come Divine Messiah” as if the Lord has been absent and is still to come, we see, on the other hand, that it is us who have been away, and that the Lord waits for us to come home.

Finally, Advent has always been a season for waiting. It is indeed tough when we are currently waiting for something painful to occur or to change. I know many people who are waiting. Some are terminally ill and are waiting to die. There is a family waiting to be healed of all the pain of a divorce. Another is waiting for the job after his interview. A student is waiting for the comprehensive exams to come; another is waiting for the results of the bar exams. A family is waiting for their working mother abroard to come home. And yet, the waiting is hopeful and patient. One can expect the arrival of those we wait. It is illustrated by the image of my mother who waits outside of our house to welcome me back. And so as we wait, we patiently pray that God welcomes us back in his heart once again.

*This Italian movie won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film in 1989 and a Special Jury Prize at the Cannes Film Festival.

A Time of Thanksgiving

23 November 2005: Wednesday of the 34^th Week of the Year
Daniel 5, 1-28; Luke 21, 12-19: Memorial of Blessed Miguel Agustin Pro Juarez

At the week that ends the liturgical year, the readings talk about the end of time. That the final hour is like the Fall of the Babylonian empire as the first readings says, or like the Fall of the Temple of Jerusalem as Luke writes in the gospel. The readings affirm that the Lord triumphs in the end, that we should trust the Lord at all times, and that we should always be assured of God’s abiding love.

As we end this liturgical year, it is best to reflect on God’s abiding love, and the depth of our trust in Him. We gather the graces of the past year: grateful for all those who have blessed our lives and thankful for the goodness of God.

We have developed the habit of asking God for personal favors through the Wednesday devotion to our Mother of Perpetual Help. Now, we are asked not to focus on our needs, but to focus on what was given, to focus on the Giver of the gifts. If we ponder deeply all that has been given, we can be overwhelmed by all that is ours.

First, none of the gifts that we have are earned: the way we pursue awards, the way we achieve certain goals. The gifts have been given even before we have asked them. All we have to do is to develop them. God’s gifts are given freely. And this generosity can draw us to look at our own generosity. How generous have we been with others? Do we clutch on our gifts for fear we might lose them?

Second, giving freely means that we give with no strings attached. There are many times that we hear ourselves say: “Di ako papadala ng card, di naman niya ako naalala.” “I will not give her a present this Christmas; she doesn’t show her gratitude anyway.” “I will not take part in the outreach program; nobody takes notice of my efforts.” “What has he done for me to deserve my attention?” There is always a struggle between our self-centeredness and our generosity. Often we let our quiet little greed kill the goodness we have including the virtues of patience and kindness.

Finally, God provides. Anne Frank wrote, “No one has ever become poor by giving.” Generosity encourages us to rely on God and believe that God provides for all His creatures. My mother always reminds me this. She said that our family has survived because of God’s graciousness. As a Jesuit, I have managed to live according to some tenets learned from experience. If something was not used for a year (to give way to seasonal clothing such as sweaters, for example), it belongs to someone else. As I slowly give them away, I notice that somehow it returns. For example, the shirt I gave away was replaced by a t-shirt given by my sister. When one doubts whether to give something away or to keep it, give it away. Often, other people need it more than I do. It is the same with friendships: when one offers it, we find it returned a hundredfold. When we visit someone who is sick and show compassion, often it returns when we are in need, a hundredfold.

This is the time when we have to remember our generous Father. As we thank him, we are assured that He will be gracious to us the following year. I have several suggestions to act on our gratitude:

First, pray St. Ignatius’ prayer with open palms: “Take Lord and receive, all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will. Whatever I have you have given to me, I restore them all to you, to be governed by Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace, and I am rich enough and ask for nothing more.” Imagine all your gifts on your open palms and surrender it to God, knowing that they are not yours, but God’s. And therefore, since they are gifts and we don’t own them, the meaningful expression of gratitude is to use and to share them with others.

Second, take time to reflect on people who have blessed you: choose one who might need your care and attention, your appreciation and affirmation. Many of us from the universities believed in the power of our ideas, and thus we have been overly critical of others: we actually have earned a doctorate degree in criticism even before we graduated from high school. This time, we create a culture of affirmation, appreciation and encouragement. Write to someone whom you have been grateful for. Send them an email, or a text message, or a card. A handwritten note often counts. As post-modern culture has it, when it’s handwritten, it's always meaningful and personal.

Finally, give away some material things which you have, perhaps liked, with no strings attached. Or, give away some non-material things (e.g. time and effort at the service of a community) with no strings attached, no terms for service.

We are assured that God provides all our needs, and from the proof of the past, it is reasonable to trust Him in the future. “God has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness (2 Peter 1, 3).”

The Fall of Jerusalem

24 November 2005: Thursday of the 34th Week of the Year
Luke 21, 20-28: Andrew Dung Lac and Companions

Jerusalem fell to the Roman armies in AD 70 after a desperate siege in which the inhabitants were actually reduced to cannibalism and in which the city had to be taken literally stone by stone. Josephus says that an incredible number of 1,100,000 people perished in the siege and 97,000 were carried away in captivity. The Jewish nation was obliterated and the Temple was fired and abandoned.

Josephus in Wars of the Jews writes about the beauty of the Temple: the pillars and columns are of white marble, each made of a single block of stone. Of the ornaments, the most famous was the great vine made of solid gold. “The outward face of the Temple in its front... was covered with plates of gold of great weight, and, at the first rising of the sun, reflected back a very fiery splendor, and made those who forced themselves to look upon it turn their eyes away, just as they would have done at the sun’s own rays. But the temple appeared to strangers, when they were at a distance, like a mountain covered with snow, for, as to those parts of it that were not gilt, they were exceedingly white.

It was from a comment about this Temple, that Jesus was moved to prophesy. Here we learn some things about Jesus. First, Jesus could read the signs of history. Second, Jesus truthfully said that those who would follow him would meet persecutions and difficulties. Third, Jesus assured them that those who would face persecution would never be alone: He is with them. Finally, Jesus gives a second assurance, “not one hair of your head will be harmed.” They might destroy the body, but never one’s soul.

If we reflect on our lives, much of what we learn about Jesus is indeed true to us. Some of us have graciously loaned a lot of money to someone and that person has exploited your generosity. Some of us have been victims of false accusations and tsismis, abandoned by friends and families even by members of the church, because they believed in the false statements made against us. Some of us have labored willingly behind the scenes, doing most of the work--- whether in a school or a work project --- and another got the credit. Some of us have tried to make things better, but we meet a lot of difficulties from people who resist change.

Here is the message that is often difficult to accept: that it is in this kind of pain that God gives His best message. CS Lewis calls pain, “God’s megaphone”. In his book, The Problem of Pain, he writes: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.” Thus, when everything falls, like the Temple of Jerusalem, when we are destroyed by people, we are asked to put our complete hope and trust in God. When we do that, the simplest message from God calms our spirit.

Christian Reger is a man who did exactly that. He spent four years in the infamous Dachau, imprisoned by the Nazis from 1941-1945. He was imprisoned because he was a member of the Confessing Church, one of the German state churches that took a stand against the Nazis. Christian was turned over to the Nazis by the organist of his local church, and was shipped hundreds of miles in the concentration camp of Dachau. Philip Yancey tells us his story in his book, Where Is God When it Hurts? “Christian Reger will tell the horror stories if you ask. But he will never stop there. He goes on to share his faith--- how at Dachau, he was visited by God who loves. Reger told me, “Nietzche said a man can undergo torture if he knows the why of his life. But I, here at Dachau, learned something far greater. I learned to know the Who of my life. He was enough to sustain me then, and is enough to sustain me still.”

Actually, we do have a local example: Angelito Nayan who spent three weeks in captivity in the hands of gunmen in Afghanistan. Every day their captors would threaten to kill him and his fellow captives. Nayan said that words from the Bible sustained him in dark times and how they would repeatedly utter a quote from the book of Jeremiah which says, “For I know my plans that are laid for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you.”

And so, take heart. Never lose hope. Trust in the Lord. In our desperate times, when all else fails, when all else falls like the splendor of Jerusalem, God never abandons us.

All Things Shall Be Well

22 & 23 November 2005: Tuesday of the 34th Week of the Year
Luke 21, 5-19. Memorial of St. Cecilia

Last week, I felt a sudden surge of fear. I was worried about too many things. I was also afraid that things may not turn out fine. I was in fact afraid of failure, because at this time I cannot afford to fail. I emailed my best friend and told him all about my fears. He emailed back with one message: “Hang in there. Things will turn out fine.”

I guess this is the easiest way to understand the Gospel today. The readings focus on the end of the world; with terrible prophesies and warnings. In the first readings of today and tomorrow's liturgy, we hear the prophet Daniel interpreting King Nebuchadnezzar's dream and the writing on the wall predicting the end of the Babylonian empire. And Luke predicts the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem. Jesus says, “There will be wars and insurrection, nation rise against nation, kingdom against kingdom. There will be powerful earthquakes, famines and plagues from place to place, and persecutions before kings and governors on behalf of my name.” These warnings and predictions constitute elements in apocalyptic literature.

Apocalyptic literature is associated with persecutions. There are two groups: the persecutors and the persecuted --- ang mga nang-aapi at mga inaapi. The writings come from the inaapi, the persecuted. They write about future events, when actually, they are writing about present events. They write in codes and symbols which they only understand. Kasi ayaw nilang mabuking ng mga nang-aapi. Their message is usually “Do not be afraid”, “Do not lose hope”, “Be strong!”, “Trust God!”, “In the end, God will triumph over all these things!”

Therefore, if our readings are apocalyptic, the Gospel tells us to be strong, never to fear, never to lose hope, and never to lose trust in God. When there are wars and insurrections, when nations rise against nations, kingdoms against kingdoms, when earthquakes happen, when times become difficult, when one lacks money for basic needs, when government officials do not do their jobs well, when there is apathy, when heartbroken, when taking a challenging exam, when failing...hope in the Lord! All time is in God's hands.

The Gospel is indeed good news: it encourages us. The first reading says: “the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that shall never be destroyed and shall put an end to all these.” And Jesus says, “But not a hair on your head will be destroyed, by your perseverance, you will secure your lives.”

Nevertheless, it does not mean that we should not act on our problems and just let things happen without lifting a finger to solve them. Action is needed. St. Paul says, “In toil and drudgery, night and day we worked, as a model for imitation.” Everyday there is an opportunity for leadership. Each day brings you an opportunity to raise important questions, speak of higher values, and surface unresolved conflicts. Every day we have the chance to make a difference in the lives of people around us. We must decide whether to put our contributions out there or keep it to ourselves avoiding upsetting anyone and getting through another day just as it is.

To lead is to live dangerously. When leadership counts, when our being Christian is needed, when we lead people through difficult change, we challenge what people hold dear--- their daily habits, tools, loyalties, and ways of thinking --- with nothing more to offer perhaps than a possibility of a better way. Leadership though is worth the risk because the goals extend beyond material gain or personal advancement. By making the lives of people around us better, leadership provides meaning in life. It creates purpose.

We Christians are challenged to be leaders of change. Not to fear the wounds, but to trust God. To hang in there and believe things will turn out fine. Julian of Norwich says:

“There is a great deed which the beloved Trinity shall do at the last day... and what that deed shall be and how it shall be done is unknown to all creatures below Christ. And it shall be hidden until it is done. This is the great deed ordained by our Lord since before time began, treasured and hidden in his blessed breast, known only to him... through whom God... shall make all things well. For just as the Blessed Trinity made all things out of nothing, so the same Blessed Trinity shall make good all that is not well.”

Becoming King

20 November 2005: The Solemnity of Christ the King
Matthew 25, 31-36

At the end of the liturgical year, we affirm our belief that Christ is the King of our lives, and of the whole universe. It is not surprising that many of us have enthroned the image of the Sacred Heart or Christ the King in our homes. In the prayer of enthronement, the members of the household pledge their allegiance to Christ.

It is therefore appropriate for us to re-evaluate why we have enthroned Christ in our homes: How do we regard the image of Christ on the throne? Do we regard the image as a talisman to protect us from evil? Or like the Chinese, to bring us good luck and to ward off unfriendly spirits? Or like many Filipinos who put garlic outside their houses to shoo away the aswang? Or like the palm branches blessed on Palm Sunday to protect us from calamities? Do we actually think that the power is in the image?

On the other hand, should we see that no amount of holy water poured in the house or the number of statues in our homes will ever shoo away evil, except the power of our faith? All the images we have of Christ and of the saints are reminders of how we should be as Christians: just as Christ is King, so we too should practice our kingship--- lives patterned on the Kingship of Christ.

What then is Christ's kingship? We take the cue from Psalm 23, the responsorial psalm today. The image of the king in the Old Testament centers on the shepherd. The shepherd takes care of his flock. Every shepherd knows very well that the flock entrusted to his care is not owned by an individual but by the whole community. It is not surprising that when the lost sheep was found by the good shepherd, the whole community celebrated. For the shepherds, to keep a loving and watchful eye on the fold means to concretely serve the community. And because of the dedication of the shepherd, it has become the paradigm of Judeo-Christian leadership. Kingship is thus humble service; service in the name of the community and in the name of God to whom the community belongs.

How do we practice our kingship? Matthew's Gospel illustrates this by the literary form called repetition: if a phrase or sentence in scripture is repeated, it is therefore important. The Gospel repeats 4x the following in different manners: "when I was hungry, you gave me food; when I was thirsty, you have me drink; when I was a stranger, you welcomed me; when I was naked, you clothed me; when I was sick and in prison, you visited me." One observes that these works are ordinary duties: things which our parents do every day but hardly gets noticed. Many termed this as the sacrament of the ordinary: that the best service we do are not the one-time, big-time medical missions, outreach programs, fund-raising for the poor with the photo shoot and media coverage, but the daily tasks done quietly and regularly. Karl Rahner SJ, a Jesuit theologian and philosopher once said that the promotion of the Kingdom of God is not through our achievements, titles or status, but by hidden works, by unobtrusive service.

St. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits, teaches us to add one more thing: the magis, the more, the little extra in the little service. Thus, when we cook, we cook excellently; when we wash our dishes, we wash it excellently; when we clean our rooms, we clean it excellently; when we study, we study excellently; when we attend mass, we participate excellently; when we watch a movie, we enjoy it excellently, especially with those whom we love.

In other words, the little things we do to each other illustrate the depth of our faith in Christ our King. If we see Christ in each person, then excellent service will come naturally. Les Miserables further affirms this truth to us: to love another person is to see the face of Christ. We have indeed seen Christ our King: all we need is a new vision, and a renewed spirit.

The Consciousness Examen

One Wednesday evening mass in UP
Luke 11, 1-4: On Daily Prayer
A Requested Post

A useful way of praying in the spiritual life is the examen, which St. Ignatius himself counseled was the single most important exercise for a person to do every day. In essence, it is about taking a good look at our choices in life and asking whether they have made us better persons. Over time, the examen helps us to take regular inventory of our spiritual lives. By praying the examen, we become more adept at listening to God and working with God in the ongoing project of building a good life.

There are two types:

The First Type of Examen. The first type of examen is the kind we undertake when we come to a life stage that makes us think about where we’ve been--- what the previous weeks, months, or years have been like for us. Often, this kind of examen happens with some big event, good or bad: graduation, illness, the birth of a child, a family tragedy. Big events in our lives force us to confront the way we’ve been living and the choices we’ve made; sometimes we are thankful, and other times we have regrets. When we perform this kind of examen, we are asking about how our past attitudes have affected our choices over time.

The Second Type of Examen is about looking at our consciousness of the past day. It is this practice that becomes the regular maintenance of the spiritual life: it is about paying attention to highs and lows, things we are grateful for and things we regret. In this examen, we go through our memories of the day to see what emerges. The steps below:

1. Pray for Understanding. Pray that God might help you understand how he is working with you in your everyday life. We choose to believe that God is present to us in every moment, and so we pray that in reviewing the day, we may come to know God’s activity with us.

2. Give Thanks. Recall and give thanks for the good things God has given you. Practice thankfulness for basic goods, like being alive, being with people you love, having food to eat, and so on. The practice of gratitude alone is a valuable exercise for many, particularly those who are at difficult periods in their lives. I came to understand this point recently. Many things in my life seemed wrong, and so my spiritual director instructed me to practice this exercise of gratitude. Instead of focusing on all the negative feelings, I focused on what was good.

3. Pay attention to your feelings. Pay attention to strong feelings, both positive and negative, that emerge in your recollection of the day. For Ignatius, feelings were a barometer of the spiritual life, for they tell us things about ourselves and our relationship with God. In looking over the past day, ask yourself what feelings were most strong and why. Try not to “censor” your feelings, determining in advance which are permissible and which are not. Simply ask God to help you understand where the feelings come from and what they tell you about your spiritual life.

4. Examine one of your feelings. Choose one strong feeling from the past day, then dig deeper; let it be the source of your prayer. If this feeling has emerged in your memory of the day, then it surely points to something important. What is it? Is the feeling positive or negative, and how does it move you? Do you want to be angry at God, or do you want to praise God? Whatever the feelings move you toward can be a source of prayer. Again, remember that honesty and openness are important here. Don’t try to predetermine what a prayer should be, any more than you would predetermine what a friendship is supposed to be. Simply allow the feeling to lead you in conversation with God.

5. Look ahead. Move towards looking ahead. As you wind up your prayer from the feeling of the past day, start thinking about how this will affect your choices in the future. Ask God to be with you as your prepare for what lies ahead. Again pay attention to your feelings: are you looking forward to the next day or are you afraid of it?

6. Make a Closing Prayer. Close with a standard prayer, like the Our Father, or use some words that connote your willingness to listen to God in the coming day. Again, pray for the grace to discern God’s will and the courage to do it.

Final Note. The examen does not need to be at a time set apart. It is good to do this once in a while, really taking stock of ourselves and the choices we’ve made, but it is also good to integrate elements of the examen into our everyday thinking. It’s possible to do an examen while waiting in life, eating lunch, driving, listening to music. At the most basic level, the examen is your response to the question, “What has God been doing in my life?” It is about paying my attention to my relationship with God: the ways my personality, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, choices and dilemmas tell me about God’s movements in my life. It is the chance to simply see God in our lives and to be conscious of His abiding presence in our life. He said, “I will be always with you till the end of time.”

Practical Suggestions for Prayer

Some Questions:

1. What has been the most important thing I’ve done today (this week, this month)?
2. How have I been an instrument of God’s love toward others?
3. Who has shown me God’s love? In what way?
4. Have I hurt anyone today (this week, this month)?
5. Have I treated anyone as a means to an end rather than as a person?

Some Meditations

1. Review your day slowly. What stands out? What are you thankful for? What do you regret? What caused you pain? Pay attention to small things, like feeling satisfaction for doing a good job or feeling sorry for missing something important. Pay attention to the memories of the way you felt about things.
2. Ask God for the grace to know God’s will for you life and so see the ways God is working in your life.
3. What do your actions (or failures to act) tell you about your relationship to God? Does anything stand out --- a conversation, a time you got angry, something that moved you, an unexpected event, a regret? With patience, ask yourself what you feelings at the time tell you. Did your feelings manifest a willingness to listen to God or to ignore God?
4. What patterns do you see over the last day, week, month, or year? What do these patterns tell you about your relationship to God?
5. Take your observations into prayer, telling everything to God and asking God for understanding. Allow God to move you --- and to surprise you if necessary.

Material taken from Tim Muldoon, The Ignatian Workout: daily spiritual exercises for a healthy faith. Jesuit Communications Foundation Inc. 2004. Presented in Powerpoint at the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice, UP Diliman.

The Process of Letting Go

13 November 2005. Parish of the Holy Sacrifice, UP Diliman. Mass for those who need to let go.

Saying goodbye is an inescapable fact of human life. From the day we were born, when the cutting of the umbilical cord separated us from the protective comfort of our mother’s womb, to the day we make our final farewell when we leave this world, we will always be, as we have always been, saying goodbye. For a little child, this may mean losing a pet one has learned to love. For a teenager, this may mean moving on from childhood to young adulthood. For most of us, this may mean letting go of someone we love, as he or she moves on in life, or to the other life.

The great irony however is that even if we are so used to saying goodbye, it being a recurring reality in human life, people still almost always find it difficult to deal with. Allow us then to share with you some suggestions on how one might deal with the struggles of letting go.

I. Recognition

The first important step in letting go is recognition. First and foremost, we need to recognize the need to say goodbye. Many people are not able to move on because they have not even begun recognizing the need to say goodbye.

Exercise: Recognizing the need to say goodbye

Ask yourself: is there something in your life that you feel you have to say goodbye to? Is there some loss that you feel you have not adequately grieved over? Are you experiencing feelings of sadness, pain, abandonment, anger, or resentment, because of some separation? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then perhaps it is time to recognize the fact that there is indeed a need to say goodbye.

Exercise: Recognizing one’s true emotions

With the need to say goodbye comes the need to recognize our true feelings. Ask yourself: honestly, how do you feel about what you are going through? How do you feel about having to say goodbye? Dig deep into your heart and try to be aware of what is really inside. Allow your feelings to surface. Name them and claim them. Recognize that they are there. The problem with some people is that they suppress their feelings too much, some even to the point of denial. In doing that, the process of letting go is hampered.

II. Expression

After recognizing the need to say goodbye, the next step is to adequately express this goodbye. This process begins with an honest expression of one’s feelings, and then moves on to finding an expression for one’s goodbye.

Exercise: Expressing one’s feelings

First, imagine who or what you want to say goodbye to. If he or she is a person, imagine him/her in front of you. If it is an object or an event, imagine this object or event before you, as if it can understand whatever you have to say. Then, begin talking. Talk about your emotions. Talk about how you feel about the separation or the loss. Talk about how it affects you. Share whatever is in your heart.

Then, imagine God before you. In the same way, share with Him how you feel. Tell Him honestly what is happening inside you. If there is a feeling of sadness, of pain, of difficulty, tell Him about it. If there is a feeling of disappointment, of anger, or resentment even, let Him know about it. Express to Him whatever is in your heart.

Exercise: Expressing one’s goodbye

Think of a ritual that would adequately express your goodbye. One example is burying a memento that reminds you of the person, object or event you want to say goodbye to. Or perhaps: symbolically burning a representation of this person, object, or event. Keep it mind however that it does not need to be magnificently grandiose. It can be as simple as writing a letter (that you do not need to send) to the person you want to say goodbye to. Once you feel you are ready to say goodbye, go through the ritual, reminding yourself that this is your way of expressing your goodbye.

III. Surrender

In her book Praying our Goodbyes, Joyce Rupp writes: “Surrender walks hand in hand with letting go. To surrender is to give over to God, to give up our power over something that keeps us down or holds us back. When we surrender, we open ourselves up to the mystery of life, to the risks of the future, to the challenge of the unknown.” The act of letting go is an act of surrender, an act of entrusting our concerns to God. When we let go, we affirm our trust in God and His immense goodness. We affirm our belief that God desires nothing else but what is best for us and for our loved ones.

Exercise: Remembering the trustworthiness of God

Take a Scripture passage that speaks of God’s trustworthiness, of how He desires only what is best for us and our loved ones. Some examples are: Jeremiah 29:11-14, Psalm 23, Matthew 6:25-34. Read the passage slowly and let the words speak to you personally. If there are words that strike you, stay with these words and relish them. As you read the scripture passage, if you recall personal experiences of God’s trustworthiness in your life, allow these memories to surface. If there are feelings that arise from this exercise, allow these feelings to surface as well. The goal of this exercise is simply to remind yourself that God is someone you can trust.

Exercise: Entrusting to God

Imagine yourself in front of God, holding the person, object, or event that you want to say goodbye to. Speak to Him. Make your prayer of entrustment. Ask Him to take into His hands whatever it is that you want to say goodbye to. Then, when you are ready to let go, imagine yourself giving to God this person, object or event that you want to entrust.

Letting Go

To a dear one about whom I have been concerned.

Herve Marcoux OMI

I behold the Christ in you.

I place you lovingly in the care of the All Caring One.

I release you from my anxiety and concern.

I let go of my possessive hold on you.

I am willing to free you to follow the dictates of the indwelling Spirit.

I am willing to free you to live your life according to your best light and understanding.

Husband, wife, child, friend,

I no longer try to force my ideas on you, my ways on you.

I lift my thoughts about you, above the personal level.

I see you as God sees you,

a spiritual being,

created in God’s image,

endowed with qualities and abilities that make you needed and important not only to me but to God and God’s larger perspective.

I do not bind you.

I no longer believe that you do not have the understanding you need in order to meet life.

I bless you.

I release you.

I have faith in you.

I behold Jesus in you.

God bless you too.

*Joel Liwanag SJ adapted from Joyce Rupp's Praying our Goodbyes.

To Keep Our Talents Is to Use It

13 November 2005: 33^rd Sunday of the Year
Matthew 25, 14-30: Parable of the Talents

The Parable of the Talents has many lessons that can teach many of us, especially students. The talent was not a coin, but a weight, and therefore the value of the weight will depend on the coinage whether it was copper, silver or gold. I have five points today, and all these points center at a particular element in Christian faith: dynamism.

First, the parable points to the useless servant who hid two hundred and fifty talents on the ground, and did nothing to it. If one looks at it closely, the useless servant stands for the Scribes and the Pharisees for their attitude towards the Law and the truth of God. The useless servant buried his talents in order to hand it over to his Master exactly as it was. The scribes and Pharisees directed their efforts to keep the Law exactly as it was. This means that they abhor any change, any development, any alteration, and anything new. And like the man with the one thousand, they were condemned because they desired to keep things exactly as it was.

This is perhaps true to many people today who would refuse any changes made in the practice of our faith. Things have changed since Vatican II in 1965, but many of us would rather hold on to the practice of the past, even when it has become outdated. Some people would still resist changes to make the mass relevant to people. Since 1965, Vatican II says that the liturgy demands “full, conscious, and active participation” from Catholics today. This is precisely what we mean when we call some ‘conservative’: they would resist any change; they would want the practice of the Law, like the scribes and Pharisees, exactly as it was. And for this, they were condemned. The Church should move, as times move; the Church should be dynamic, tackling modern issues as it comes. Even our mass had changed as the Church moves along history. Only one thing does not change: our faith in Christ. Thus we ask ourselves: Am I conservative or not?

Second, the parable tells us that God gives us different talents: some have five talents, two, or one. What matters is not the number of talents, but how one uses it. God does not require us talents which we do not have, but demands from us to use to the full whatever we have. We are not equal in the number of talents. But we can be equal in our efforts. Whatever talent we have, must be used at the service of God. We ask ourselves: what are the talents that I have? Do I use them to the full at the service of God? St. Ignatius teaches us a principle with regards the use of our talents and anything for that matter: Tantum Quantum: use if it leads towards the praise, service and reverence of God; if not, do not use it.

Third, the person who was punished was the person who did not try at all. The man with the one talent did not lose his talent; but simply did nothing to it. When we think that we have just one tiny talent, we are also drawn to say that “I have little to contribute anyway, it is not worth the try.”

Fourth, the reward of a work well done is still more work to do. When a person is found to be good in smaller responsibilities, the reward is complete trust in him doing greater responsibilities. Thus when we have achieved much, we do not stop at the acquisition of the degree or the diploma, we however continue to move to greater tasks, we continue to be better. That means when you have received a masters or a doctorate degree in education, and you find yourself teaching, you have to become a better teacher, not a boring and arrogant professor who find it amusing to torture students than to teach them.

Finally, the parable tells us a universal truth: To those who have more, more will be given; to those who have less, even what they have they will lose. Simple: if you develop whatever talent you have, the more you are able to do it better. For example, if you know you are good in singing, and you practice, they more you can tackle difficult songs; if not, you eventually lose your singing ability. If you are good in basketball, and you practice, the better you become; if not, you become a lousy player. The more you exercise, practice and improve on the gift, the bigger tasks you are able accomplish. It is thus a lesson in life that the only way to keep a gift is to use it in the service of God and in the service of others.

Quest for the Spirit of God

10 November 2005: Thursday of the 32^nd Week
Luke 17, 20-25: Memorial of St. Leo the Great

In the Gospel, Jesus tells us that the Kingdom of God is among us, but ‘it cannot be observed’ and ‘we will not be able to see it’. Some translations will substitute the ‘kingdom’ with ‘Spirit’, but both of them are different ways of talking about God who ‘renews everything’ as the First Reading from Wisdom has it. If the Spirit of God is among us and it renews everything, why can’t it be observed? What prevents us from seeing it?

Let me thus embark on a quest to see the Spirit of God. First, observation can mean believing only that which is empirical: what one sees, hears, tastes, touches, and feels. We often say, ‘to see is to believe’. Employing the scientific method, it would indeed be difficult to see God.

Second, we all express our desire to be close to God, but there is a certain reluctance and fear in seeing God. Psalm 27 expresses this deepest desire: “It is your face, Lord, I seek. Do not hide Your face from me.” Psalm 84 distinctively expresses this: “My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the Lord.” Richard Otto in his book, The Idea of the Holy, says that the experience of the Holy evokes in us awe (tremendum), but also fascination (fascinans); a mystery which both evokes attraction and fear.

We are afraid when we see God we will see the truth about ourselves: our illusion that we are self-sufficient and immortal, and that we are in control of our lives. It is like meeting a movie actress whom you idolize so much: you want to shake her hands and introduce yourself, but at the same time, fear the meeting--- you do not know what to say or even worse, to sustain the conversation. In her presence, you find yourself of smaller stature. In Filipino we say, kapag kasama ko siya, nanliliit ako. Same thing with God. When we are with God, the truth about ourselves naturally comes out: our sinfulness, our insecurities, and our false self-image.

Moreover, being with God might lead us to an unfamiliar terrain where we might die. Being with Him makes us realize that we are not God, that God alone is God, and that He doesn't need us. When we are with God, we ‘faint’, we die to ourselves and our illusions. Death reminds us that we are not in control of our lives. That is why we fear it: the experience of realizing the lies of our lives is painful; the false self-image which we have built throughout our lives suddenly meets its death.

But the fear we experience is productive and beneficial. On the contrary, when we experience God, we are renewed: the untruths about our lives are revealed, and we begin to see what we truly are. Psalm 111 and Proverbs 1 say that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, knowledge and instruction. We can thus say that if we begin to see the Spirit of God, we will be able to see the miracle of renewal in the world—what Gerald Manley Hopkins SJ calls the ‘freshness deep down things.’

The Jesuit Music Ministry produced a song composed by Frs. Johnny Go SJ and Manoling Francisco SJ that illustrates that the Spirit of God is here:

Far Greater Love*

1. Who would have known this would be a history so torn with wars, the sky, seems grayer in our hearts. It’s grayer in our hearts.

2. I could have sworn it would end in misery, but the world is turning still, and we’re also learning, somewhere hidden out there, something’s greater than our hearts.

Refrain.The storms of life might shake our ground, a greater peace still dwells in our hearts. The dreams we build may fall apart, a deeper hope still runs in our hearts. Fear no harm, we are ruled by a far greater love, a far greater love.

3. Who would have known life would be such a mystery? For the world is yearning still and our hearts keep burning. We dare to believe there’s something greater than our hearts. Refrain

Coda: We’re never alone. All else may go wrong, still will there be a love far greater than our hearts.

Thus, the Gospel challenges us to seek the face of God in the thousand and one features in our lives and in the world. It means that employing a different way of seeing, we have to actively search for the different presences of God in history and in the present milieu. St. Ignatius teaches Jesuits to always see what is good in the world, to read the signs of the times, and to see God in all things. To realize that "all else may go wrong, but there is still a love far greater than our hearts."

*Bukas Palad: God of Silence. Available in CDs and Cassettes. call (63 2) 4261023.

Reclaiming the Sacredness of the Temple

9 November 2005: Wednesday of the 32^nd Week of the Year
John 2, 13-22: Reclamation of the Temple
Feast of the Dedication of the Lateran Basilica

During the time of Archbishop Romero, the national guards used a local church as their barracks. And when the Archbishop tried to reclaim the Blessed Sacrament, the soldiers blocked him. So, he wore his stole and led the local people in a procession back to the church.

This illustrates the feast we celebrate today. We emphasize the sacredness of the temple. In the Old Testament, the temple was a symbol of the presence of God. However, the Temple of Jerusalem was destroyed in AD 70 and Josephus, the historian, said that one million people perished, and 97,000 were captured.

In the Gospel today, Jesus reclaims the temple’s sacredness and announces its replacement. That the destroyed Temple of Jerusalem, the symbol of God’s presence, and is no longer a concrete building, but is now the body of Christ. The New Testament reading tells us that we are now the body of Christ, and we are now the temple of the Holy Spirit. Each one of us manifests the presence of God, and thus, each of us is indeed holy.

However, we seldom experience and see the presence of God in our lives. Why? Our lives are like business stalls in the marketplace; our pre-occupation is selling our wares and minding our own businesses.

Bishop Henri Nouwen tells us about the restlessness of our contemporary lives: First, our days are filled with things to do, people to meet, projects to finish, letters to write, calls to make, appointment to keep, prayers to recite. Second, though we have many things at parang walang katapusan ang trabaho, we seldom feel satisfied and at peace. Ironically, we realize that when we are filled, we become unfulfilled. There is never a space, a time to stand behind our own lives and reflect.

Jesus Christ tells us to drive and whip out all of our sheep and oxen, our daily businesses; to overturn our tables; to stop our work so that, the temple of our lives is reclaimed, and its sacredness becomes apparent again.

Faith That Moves Mountains

8 November 2005: Tuesday of the 32nd Week of the Year
Luke 17, 5-10: Parable of the Mustard Seed

The point of the Gospel is simple: Faith is the greatest force in the world. We should remember that in the East, they use vivid language, and often, exaggerated to prove the point. We, Filipinos, are no different from them: “Alam mo, ang ganda ng sine. Mamamatay ka sa iyak.” We actually will not die crying, but what we would like to say is that the movie is a real tearjerker. The Gospel tells us that even those things that look impossible before becomes possible, if it is approached by faith.

One of the greatest stories in the Old Testament is the story of Joseph, the son of Jacob, the one who became the Prime Minister of Egypt at the time of famine. He was mistreated by his family. He was falsely accused by the wife of Potiphar. He was sent to prison, and when his companion found favor with the Pharaoh, he was forgotten and abandoned for two more years. The story of Joseph resonates with all of us. Wives without husbands, husbands without wives, children without parents, parents without children, men and women without jobs, people without friends, former friends who are not on speaking terms, former priests and officials who were not anymore in ministry or office, etc. Anyone who was mistreated, falsely accused, forgotten and abandoned would feel that God has indeed treated him unjustly. And such situation challenges our faith.

Mistreatment comes in many forms. First, is undeserved mistreatment from family. It is possible for children to mistreat parents just as readily as parents can mistreat children and even grown children. I know of a fine young man whose dad had not spoken to him for six years, even since the son did not pursue a medical degree as his father, but rather entered the seminary to serve the Church. When he was ordained, his father was not there. After the ordination ceremony, when everyone was so happy for him, he took some time off and went to a small chapel and wept. Abusive mistreatment within the family takes many forms and leaves many scars.

Second, the unexpected restriction of circumstance. This happens when you are suddenly confined, either emotionally or physically. You either can’t get beyond your own emotions or your physical circumstances. A sudden traumatic disease such as cancer, can leave us feeling terribly alone. The scars from an abusive and painful past can result in a long prison-like years of pain as the person struggles to recover. I know of a person whose boyfriend for five years left her before the day of her marriage. Ten years have past, but she cannot free herself from the trauma. She is now very much afraid to enter into another relationship. These unexpected restrictions keep people from flying free and from enjoying life.

Third, untrue accusations. This is not new to many of us. Whatever we do, there are people who begin to say false things about us. The trouble is that those false words are heard by people who don’t know any better and they believe them. We cannot go around telling everyone about the truth to correct and set the record straight. We will either be accused of being defensive, and being guilty.

Fourth, unfair abandonment. In many ways, this is the most painful of all. I know many women who have given their all to their partners in life. They have accompanied their boyfriends through years of struggle in their studies, helped them find work, encourage them from frustrations, committed themselves in marriage, and bore them children. And suddenly, their partners left them. Some have loaned money to a friend, and when the payback is needed, he or she is nowhere to be found.

Faith that moves mountains is somehow farfetched. But you see, when our faith is challenged we have two choices: We can become disillusioned and embittered, or we can use that difficulty as a platform for putting our hope and trust in the living God. All of the situations mentioned are circumstances that we consider impossible to correct, impossible to remedy. You see the cause of disillusionment and its cure can be expressed in almost the same simple words.

The cause of disillusionment is putting one’s complete hope and trust in people. We have made this person who has abandoned us --- the child, wife, the husband, the business partner, the friend who has left us alone --- as the center of our lives, when the person become God. Your complete hope rested in them and when the feet of clay crumbles, total disillusionment sets in.

The cure is thus: Putting our complete hope and trust in the living God. In other words, to have faith in God alone. When we do that, the simplest message from God calm our spirits.

A friend of mine underwent such abandonment. It was in one simple retreat that he had to face the hurting truth about his life, and began to read the bible, and appreciate 15-minute prayers. Now, he has recovered from his hurt. A few nights ago, he told me that he found someone whom he will soon marry. The impossible has become possible for him. Faith indeed can overhaul our lives, like making a mountain move, allowing a 360-degree turn and making our lives better. And by the way, the priest in my first story: he finally got the courage to talk to his father sincerely. Today, his father comes to attend his masses.

How to Fix the World

5 November 2005: Feast of all Saints and Blessed in the Society of Jesus
Luke 16, 9-15: Incremental Steps towards the Salvation of All Souls

We reflect on the 10th verse of the Gospel: “He who is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and he who is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much.”

This can mean two things: The best proof that a person is worthy of a higher area of responsibility is when he has been responsible for small things. We can know whether a person is fit or unfit for a certain leadership position through his accomplishments with smaller tasks. No one therefore should advance to a higher office unless he has proven his worth in minor jobs.

Or it can hit right at the core: highly-driven individuals dream of making a great difference in the world. They make it their business to fix the problems of the world. Health and fitness programs teach us that the way towards a great physique is to begin with incremental steps. I have a story:

One day when a father came home, he sat down to relax and read the paper. His son had other ideas. The playful boy continually pestered his father. The frustrated father tired of his son’s nagging and took a page of the paper with a picture of the world and tore it into pieces. “Son, go into the other room and put the world back together. Moments later the boy returned. He had taped the world back together. The surprised father asked, “How did you do that so quickly?” “It was easy,” said the boy. “You see, on the other side of the world was a picture of a man, and as soon as I got the man straightened out, the world was OK too!”

Perhaps this is the better point. Perhaps the way to fix our broken world, a world that has been shattered into millions of pieces, is to put the broken man back together first.

When The Hero Is a Scoundrel

4 November 2005. Friday of the 31st Week
Luke 16, 1-13: The Wise Steward

The parable of the wise steward is very disturbing: the hero is a scoundrel. He is a slave running his master estate. And he has a case of embezzlement which threatens his job. For fear of losing his work, the steward falsified the books so the entries were less than what the debtors owed. For example, the debtor who owed one hundred measures of oil, the steward placed 50 in his invoice; likewise to the one who owed a hundred measures of wheat, the steward wrote in the bill, eighty. This is blatant cheating. Nevertheless, the debtors were grateful to him and they become partners in crime: the debt of gratitude now binds them. And instead of being shocked by what the steward did, the master appreciated the brains behind it. Does this mean that we should therefore be like this shrewd cheat?

I guess the point of the parable is attached to the final verse: “The sons of the world are wiser in their generation that the sons of light.” If only we would be as eager, ingenious and creative in our attempt at goodness as those who commit evil. If only we give much time and effort to do what is good, as much as we spend time and effort for our self-absorption.

For example, there are a hundred and one ways to cheat in classroom exams: short notes written in codes placed on one’s handkerchief, the underside of school uniforms, on the armchair, at the blackboard. Some have resorted to texting, or to hand gestures. Merong umuubo para sa multiple-choice: isang ubo para sa (a), dalawang ubo para sa (b), at kung ‘all of the above’, may kasamang tunog sumusuka. At hindi lang sa classroom: if we look at the larger picture, our government has mastered the art of cheating. What is your own cheating method?

Iba’t iba din ang paraan ng pananakit. The methods of hurting someone can be gleaned from the number of words that are nuanced in the dictionary.

1. Pisikal: hinahampas, sinasampal, binubugbog, kinukurot sa singit/tenga, pinupukpok, tinatadyakan, sinisipa, binabatukan, kinukutusan, sinasabunutan.
2. Salita: sinisiraan, minumura, nilalait, inaalipusta, iniinsulto, tsinitsismis.
3. Kilos: hindi pinapansin, parang wala, deadma, kesehoda, iniirapan, tinataasan ng kilay, tinitingnan nang masama.
4. Sa texting: maraming mga ugnayan ang nabuwag dahil sa text. May nagpapadala ng korona ng patay sa kanyang kaaway.

A further proof that many people are creative in doing evil is the fact that television shows like Crime Scene Investigation (CSI) and 24 have become great hits. The number of episodes and the number of seasons broadcasted are illustrations of the hundred and one ways the “people of this world” do to promote evil.

The parable thus poses this question to us: if they can be creative in their evil ways, why can’t we be creative in being good? Kung magaling tayong mang-away, dapat mas magaling tayo sa pagbubuklod.

There are many professors with a doctoral degree who are boring teachers. Why can’t they be better teachers, using creative methods? Is it because of age, or is it a matter of being open to new ways?

There are many liturgists who are allergic to creative liturgies. Many of them forget that their God is the God of the Living and not the God of the books. Vatican II says that liturgies should promote the active participation of the congregation and should adapt to the culture of the people. If the mass becomes a stiff show, we may lose the younger generation.

In other words, we are challenged to find better and effective means to proclaim the Gospel. It is a matter of perspective. The Jesuits use a principle: tantum quantum. If the method leads to the glory of God use it; if not, then don’t. If many churchgoers are in the ‘middle ages,’ perhaps it is better to sing the traditional songs. But if the churchgoers are mostly teenagers, then songs with rhythm might be best. They call this the pastoral principle. I call it the virtue of flexibility and discernment.

We should all remember that methods may change, but the content of faith doesn’t. The Gospel pushes us to respond urgently: we know that the good will ultimately overcome evil and that salvation is already guaranteed, but we must not forget our participation in such a grace. Let us therefore hone our creativity or else we may not be able to contribute much in the coming of the Kingdom. Better be like a soldier in battle, than be like someone who would just wait for victory to come.

The Joy of Being Found

3 November 2005, Thursday of the 31st Week
St. Martin de Porres and Bl. Rupert Mayer SJ
Luke 15, 1-10: The Parables of the Lost Sheep and the Lost Coin

The lesson of the Gospel today is clear: Just as the shepherd rejoices over the lost sheep brought home, and the poor woman over the recovered drachma, so also God rejoices over the conversion of sinners. Having said that, I would like to note three things from the Gospel.

First, in the second parable, Jesus used a woman as an image of God. This may come as a shock to many but here we are asked to reflect on our experience of God as feminine. Many of us first experience God through our parents, particularly our mothers. In fact, many Filipinos are initiated into the faith by religious women. And therefore, we acknowledge the fact that women have equal and profound roles in our faith: we experience God through them.

Moreover, the shepherd and the woman sought what was lost. Hinanap nila ang nawawala. The highlight of the parable is given not to the lost sheep or the lost coin, but to both the shepherd and the woman. And furthermore, the result at finding the lost is joy. And this joy is celebrated individually as the woman, or communally as the shepherd.

I have three points:

First, we all know what it means to be lost. I had a similar experience a few days ago when I went to Baguio. An excerpt from my journal:

"Some things are blessings in disguise. I was not able to catch the bus to Manila, but I was able to put back into perspective my life, and more importantly, spent some time in prayer at the Cathedral. I was the last one to leave before it closed.

The priest was almost at the end of his homily when I arrived. I had with me bottles of ube jams and cookies for pasalubong, but the heaviest burden was a troubled heart. While I sat quietly at one corner, participating at mass, I saw things in another perspective: I once again felt how it means to be a member of the congregation. I looked around and saw different people at different prayer dispositions: to my left was a guy more disposed to his mobile phone; a little further from my back was a lady who was ‘speaking in tongues’; two pews from where I was were two old ladies whose lips move as they recite their prayers. I thought many of them had their own struggles, and most of all, they had tried to be holy despite the things that troubled them. A few days ago, I met a taxi driver who lost his only son, and a friend from my factory trials, who separated from his wife and daughter. I was one of them, like them in many ways. And from where I sat, I knew that God found them. And I also knew that He would also find me."

Second, God seeks us out. Many of us, while not being particularly great sinners, nevertheless feel lost. Our being lost does not stem from our relationship with God, but from our relationship with the world and with others. We often find ourselves suddenly isolated from the world; with all the problems we face, we become afraid. In addition, some of us spend our whole lives escaping from God through several distractions such pleasure, work and relationships.

The Gospel today gives us a different take: the perspective that God looks for us, and He will find us. There is a difference: iba ang naghahanap sa hinahanap. Iba din ang pakiramdam: kung TAYO ang naghahanap, at kung TAYO ang hinahanap. Ang naghahanap sa atin ay mas malalim ang damdamin sa atin: nami-miss nila tayo, kaya higit nilang pinagsisikapang hanapin tayo sa pamamagitan ng tawag, text, sulat, at Christmas cards. At labis nating ikinatutuwa kapag naaalala tayo at nahahanap tayo. At kapag sinasagot natin ang kanilang text, nagtatagpo ang naghahanap at hinahanap: ang pastol at ang tupang naligaw, ang babae at ang salaping nawala.

God never gives up looking for us. God seeks us. How? We feel that there is that thug in our heart ---may kumakalabit sa atin --- to come back to God, to make oneself ready to be found. In Filipino, we just say, "Basta ganito: Feeling ko na pinapa-uwi na ako!" We just know.

Third, the pivotal point is joy: ang pagtatagpo ng naghahanap at naligaw ay labis na kasiyahan. Ang misa ay isang pagtatagpo. Isang pagdiriwang ng mga iba't ibang pagtatagpo. It is a gathering. At each mass, Jesus renews His revolutionary gesture of welcoming sinners and eating with them. We are those sinners He welcomes so generously. It is not so much that we gather at mass, as we come to a party, but we primarily acknowledge the graciousness of the host who throws a party --- and spends for us. At mass, Jesus, the host Himself, welcomes us, joins us, and eats with us--- and spends for us by giving Himself as sacrifice. Happy are we if we know how to appreciate this kind gesture.

Our faith makes us a happy people, because the point of conversion is always related to joy. It is therefore very Christian to be happy when found.

Return to Life

2 November 2005: All Souls Day
Commemoration of all the Faithful Departed

Our tradition tells us that we visit the graves of our beloved and pray for the souls who are still being purified in the Commemoration of all the Faithful Departed. While media introduces the Western tradition of Halloween and thus instilling in us that we should be afraid of the souls, Christian tradition tells us otherwise. And just as the visiting cemeteries are slowly becoming an empty tradition, I would like to share with you the following thought.

I want to tell you the story of Puccini, the great Italian writer of such classic operas as Madame Butterfly and La Bohème. It seems when Puccini was fairly young he contracted cancer, and so he decided to spend his last days writing his final opera, Turandot, which is one of his most polished pieces. When his friends and disciples would say to him, “You are ailing, take it easy and rest,” he would always respond, “I’m going to do as much as I can on my great masterwork and it’s up to you, my friends, to finish it if I don’t.” Well, Puccini died before the opera was completed.

Now his friends had a choice. They could forever mourn their friend and return to life as usual--or they could build on his melody and complete what he started. They chose the latter. And so, in 1926 at the famous La Scala Opera House in Milan, Italy, Puccini’s opera was played for the first time, conducted by the famous conductor Arturo Toscanini. And when it came to the part in the opera where the master had stopped because he died, Toscanini stopped everything, turned around with eyes welling up with tears, and said to the large audience, “This is where the master ends.” And he wept. But then, after a few moments, he lifted up his head, smiled broadly, and said, “And this is where his friends began.” And he finished the opera.

What are we going to do about the death of our loved ones? What are we going to do about their masterpieces? Should we continue to weep? Would it be life as usual? Is it possible to build from their abilities, their humor, their virtues, their tradition, and their unrealized dreams?

I would suggest that if there is any fitting response to All Souls Day, it is life, our life, a life that is better lived: a life lived more selflessly, a life that makes a difference, a life that is honest and decent, a life that makes beautiful music for the living, the souls and for the Lord. We can make those who have died live in us. The music doesn’t have to stop at the grave. We have a choice.