Comparing Ourselves With Others

28 October 2007. 30^th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Sirach 35, 12-18; Psalm 34; 2 Tim 4, 6-18; Luke 18, 9-14

Many of us have the bad habit of always comparing ourselves with others, especially in a very competitive world. It happens in two extremes. First, we have the image of the Pharisee who compares himself with the Publican. By gloating on his gifts --- “Thank you Lord for I am not like him!” --- the Pharisee props himself up, puts himself at a higher level than the Publican. The Pharisee has a superiority-complex: he prides on his gifts. On the other hand, there is a kind of humility that is a misconception. We think that humility is a denial of one’s gifts. We know that we can sing, but we don’t. We know that we can dance, but we don’t. We are afraid that when we use our talents, others may think that we are showy. Or, we always think that our gifts is not as good as the gifts of others. In both cases, they are sins because they are founded on a lie or a deception. Those who think that they are superior deceive themselves of the fact that their gift comes, not from them, but from God. Those who have a false humility deceives themselves of the existence and purpose of their gifts. Both of these cases is a case of comparison.

When we compare ourselves with others, we know that we already lack something or that we start to compare ourselves by choosing just one trait and building our whole judgment on it. Both suffer from a poor self-image: we have to pride ourselves with our status or gifts to cover our inadequacies, or that we have to justify our lack to avoid painful criticism. By doing this, we already played a game that we already lost. For example, many students in UP and Ateneo enjoyed some popularity in their high schools because of their academic performances. But when they come to the university, they suddenly feel inferior because they find that other students are far better than them. And so they begin some negative self talk: “I am not intelligent… I guess that makes me less worthy… maybe I am dumb and stupid.” This forms a cycle which reinforces itself: we first suffer from low self-esteeem, thus we lack self-confidence, then we find that we lack something in comparison with others, and then it reinforces our false image of ourselves, which damages our self-confidence.

Paul’s letter to Timothy helps us re-orient ourselves and break this cycle. Paul acknowledges the gifts and the Giver of the gifts. He said that the Lord rescued him and gave him strength. This is also the stance of the Publican and many others. St. Ignatius of Loyola realizes that we are so poor because everything is gift. And because they are gifts, they have to be cultivated at the service of others as an acknowledgment of the Giver. And so, when we are able to paint well, we mirror the God of Beauty. When we are able to perfect an exam, we mirror the God of Wisdom. By cultivating our talents, we give glory to God.

By developing a habit of gratitude, we are able to break the cycle of comparison: since each is gifted, then there is no reason for us to compare ourselves with others. No one is superior than others, and no one is less gifted. Our motivation is not competition, but developing our full potential as an acknowledgement of God. When we see how gifted we are and how loved by God, then we have built our self-confidence.

Stubbornness

26 October 2007. Friday of the 29^th Week in Ordinary Time
Romans 7, 18-25; Psalm 119; Luke 12, 54-59: Stubbornness

We can identify with Paul’s anguish when he laments that he does not do the good that he wants, but he does the evil that he does not want. This seem too familiar to many of us. We are able to judge what is right and what is wrong. We know when our decisions are correct and when it is erroneous. We actually feel it: we feel at peace when it is right or we feel disturbed when it is wrong. But still we do it. We always say, masarap ang bawal. We like what is prohibited. For example, when our parents forbid us from drinking alcoholic beverages, we would sneak and try them either alone but usually with our group of friends. Or we know that cheating is wrong, but we still do it because we are afraid to fail the exams. Anything prohibited has some seductive quality to us.

Thus, we are morally accountable for the wrong things that we do because we know it is wrong. The Gospel tells us that the problem does not lie on our ignorance. We can predict the weather and more accurately today: you can Google weather forecasts and you can view incoming typhoons via satellite. Information is not anymore a problem since the cyberage. We can judge what is right.

The problem I guess is in our stubbornness. Matigas ang ating mga ulo. We refuse to learn. The criteria of our judgment is what we want, what we like, what is beneficial to us: not what is right. And we have the tendency to justify our actions. We resist external influences because we prefer our own way. We want to make up our minds and follow our own instincts. We are slow to respond to external correcting measures and so we remain having behavior that is inappropriate at times. When we are stubborn, our self-image is self-contained, that means we would like to function on our own, without regard for others or the environment. We do not want to consult and therefore rarely seek advice from others especially in making decisions. Thus, as Jesus said, we rarely seek knowledge about our situation so that we can make an informed decision --- and follow a formed and well informed conscience. Thus many of our decisions are irrational, emotional, arbitrary and inflexible. In other words, when we are stubborn we are afraid of new situations. We are afraid to dare new ways of doing things.

The solution is a great trust in the word of God and welcome some inconveniences. Following what is right challenges our comfort zones. As the responsorial psalm teaches us, the precepts of the Lord is always right. When we follow it, it will always be beneficial to us. We will not die following it, in fact, we become better and authentic human beings. The key to combat stubbornness is flexibility. St. Ignatius called it a virtue. There are many times when we have to flow gracefully with the circumstances like adapting to the many phases of life like old age or changes in structure when an old organization have to reformat themselves in the post modern world. We must not spend all our energies in resisting change. It is good to remember the huge acacia trees during typhoons: often they break if they do not bend with the wind.

Note: 1) I got a note from a parishioner in UP where I delivered this homily. She said, as "strong as the molave" (not the acacia, and help: I haven't seen a molave or maybe I have but didn't know it was a molave tree. Is there a molave in the Molave Dormitory in UP?), and as "pliable as a bamboo." 2) The acacia trees in the picture line the main road of the Ateneo.

Spiritual Formation

24 October 2007. Wednesday of the 29^th Week in Ordinary Time
Luke 12, 39-48 Spiritual Preparation

In the parable, the servant said to himself that he has plenty of preparation time before the Master arrives. This, to me, is fatal. As an exam date nears, we tend to postpone study time and chide ourselves that we have time to spare. We tend to procrastinate in favor of things that are enjoyable. Until it is too late: we are left with a few minutes before the hour comes. Everything becomes photo-finished and we perform poorly. This is the fate of many late-night crammers.

A study was conducted at Harvard Medical School about cramming: it may have a negative effect on students’ grades. The Harvard control group had regular four-day sleep, while the variable group didn’t sleep for the first night. At the end of four days, the groups were tested on image recognition. The result was pretty obvious: the groups with less sleep performed poorly than those who had regular sleep. Depriving ourselves of sleep has a negative effect on the cortex which stores information. Although we may vary in the number of hours we need to sleep, each hour out affects memory retention.

However, it seems preparation for many students still means burning the midnight oil and catching up on sleep for a few hours before hitting the books. And for many students, cramming is the only alternative: when the test is the next day, the best way is to cram, better than nothing at all. If we get used to late-night sessions, we may perform satisfactorily but scientific study shows that we can perform better if we planned ahead and avoided temptations of procrastination.

The same way with our spiritual life. We prepare ourselves when we pray. We create an environment for an encounter. This is what St. Ignatius calls the “Composition of Place”. When our friends visit us in our private rooms, we tend to clean and tidy it up so that they will feel at home. So should we in our spiritual life. The venue for our prayer is considered. The scripture passage is read. Depth is achieved if we make time for reflection and spiritual guidance.

Preparation and Vigilance

23 October 2007. Tuesday of the 29^th Week in Ordinary Time
Luke 12, 35-38 Preparation and Vigilance

The Gospel speaks about preparedness. Jesus said, “Gird your loins.” The long robes of the Jewish clothing was a hindrance to work. So when a man has to prepare for work, he gathers his robes under his girdle so he will be free do his job. Jesus also said, “Light your lamps.” In the east, the lamp was a floating wick on a bowl of oil. The wick has to be trimmed occasionally so that the light won’t go out. These two images remind us of preparation and vigilance.

There are different definitions to the word, prepare. First, it means that we should be ready beforehand for some purpose, use or activity. It means that all the details have been planned in advance. For example, to prepare food for dinner means to have in mind the menu and the ingredients needed to prepare each dish.

To prepare therefore is to discover what resources we have. We may begin with a list of things we are good at: our talents, skills and abilities. We may also put in our strengths and our achievements. We may put in the things that are still being developed or discovered. We may add our expertise and our intellectual abilities. We may also say that we have excellent social skills and graces. The items on this list constitute the gifts we can use at the service of God; and therefore to be prepared means to be continually open to new skills and abilities.

Second, it means that we should put our minds in a proper state as being prepared to listen or to take the exams. A large part of getting ready is psychological. Actors internalize their roles; they begin to focus their minds on their characters to be convincing on stage.

The same way with our lives. Is our life going somewhere? Do we have a clear idea where we would lead our lives? Do we share the same values and ideals with our friends, our partners in life, or our organizations?

Third, it means that we should put things together as preparing a report or getting ready for a career. If you were asked how you would like other people to remember you by, how would you answer them with one simple statement? Is there an underlying theme that connects the things we do? Are we able to gather ourselves into wholeness when we are shattered by rejection, anger, loneliness or confusion?

Finally, vigilance adds another dimension. We cannot control our lives: we do not know our death. Some die early; some live to a ripe old age. We cannot control opportunities: they come unexpectedly like a job offer or a scholarship opening. Often, we lose the opportunity because we are not prepared: our resumes are not impressive because we have been too easy on our studies.

Work and Persistent Prayer

21 October 2007. 28^th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Exodus 17, 8-13; Psalm 121; 2 Tim 3, 14 – 4,2; Luke 18, 1-8

The readings today affirm the importance of work and prayer in proclaiming the Word of God. The parable of the judge and the widow and the letter of Paul to Timothy show why persistent prayer is necessary.

Let us take the characters in the Gospels today. We have a Jewish judge who settles personal disputes before it reaches the higher court of the elders or any similar public venues. During the time of Jesus, Rome appointed magistrates as judges. These judges were corrupt: they extorted money from the plaintiff if they want their cases settled quickly.

We also have a widow in the story today. During the time of Jesus, widows occupied the lower ranks of society; without the protection and support of their husbands, widows were poor and therefore defenseless from these corrupt government officials. But what made the widow stronger? She was persistent in her request. If a corrupt judge hears the cry of the widow because of her persistence, how much more will God who loves listens to our needs? The responsorial psalm today affirms this: Our help is from the Lord who made heaven and earth.

But Paul’s letter adds more to persistence: it tells us to persevere in our prayers whether it conveniences or inconveniences us. Prayer takes effort. We find the right place to pray. If coffee shops capitalize on ambience, prayer also benefits from a beautiful environment. When the place is conducive for prayer, we look for a passage in scripture to aid us in our meditation or contemplation. We carry our bibles or our breviaries that focus us on the Word of God, as Paul advises Timothy. Prayer also takes time. It takes 15 minutes from your work time, as those who are in the Retreat in Daily Life program. It takes one hour from your Sunday rest time, or even more for those who travel. In other words, we show our persistence by the very effort we put into developing a habit of prayer.

Moreover, the first reading from Exodus adds another dimension to this idea of persistent prayer. Prayer and work go together like two faces of one coin. St. Benedict lends us his rule: Ora et Labora (prayer and work). We see that in the partnership between Moses and Joshua. While Joshua engages Amalek in battle, Moses would keep his hands raised up. And as long as Moses could keep his position in prayer, Joshua wins. On the other hand, if Moses rests his hands, Joshua loses against Amalek. In other words, persistent prayer and work go inseparably together --- Ora et Labora.

Our daily routines shape and structure our lives. This, we all know. But we have questioned the practical effect of prayer on our work lives. Here’s a personal reflection. Prayer gives meaning to my work. I have listened to God in prayer, and believed that working with my students and accompanying them in their lives is what I was meant to be. The joy I feel when I am with them is incomparable. Yesterday, I have married one of my students. Moreover, prayer gives direction. Oftentimes, I find myself lost in the complications and busyness of life that I needed time to reflect and to regain my vision and goal. Furthermore, prayer gives me hope. Despite the many challenges that often discourage or exasperate me, I know that there is hope. And I am not alone. Having that hope makes me move on and drives me to continue believing in what I can do, and what God can do with my willingness.

Just as we believe that God works in us through the Holy Spirit that encourages us and gives us strength, simultaneously, when we work, we participate in God’s grace. Remove prayer, we fail as when Moses rests his hands. Remove work, we also fail because Joshua’s work contributed to the defeat of the Amalekites. Put work and prayer together, we experience miracles.

Drifting Apart

18 October 2007. Thursday of the 28^th Week in Ordinary Time
2 Timothy 4, 10-17; Psalm 145; Luke 10, 1-9

The readings today speak about friendship and discipleship. Jesus sends 72 disciples to go ahead of him to towns he intends to visit. They were to see whether the towns were favorable to them and their mission. They were also sent in pairs: maybe to function like support groups. And Paul, in his second letter to Timothy, tells us about his friends who deserted him and those who supported him. The Psalm today tells us that friends make known the splendor of the Kingdom.

Let us take one of the names that Paul mentions in the first reading. We hear about Demas. Demas appears three times in the New Testament, specifically in Paul’s letters. Demas is referred by Paul in Philemon as a ‘fellow worker’; then he is just mentioned (without designation) in Colossians; and now, in Timothy as a renegade ‘who loves the present world.’ There is a digression here in terms of friendship: from partnership to abandonment.

That is all we know about Demas, but we can use our imagination to put things together for our purpose. We’ll call the first phase as the “Philemon phase”: we can look at our relationships that are going down the route of Demas. There are friendships that begin with a ‘spark’ --- you suddenly connect with them and you seem to have been friends for years. There are those who are interesting because you are able to share many common things: from interests to likes and dislikes.

The second, we call as the “Colossians phase”. The romance of the first meeting suddenly wears off. The negative traits begin to appear; the differences begin to show; there are more times when there are disagreements than concurrence, or discord than harmony. Then communication fizzles out little by little; emails and text messages become infrequent. Then the friend becomes just one of the many ‘acquaintances’ we have. They become just ‘one of them’.

And finally, we call it the “Timothy phase” when the friendship dies. For Paul, saying that Demas ‘loved the present world’ might mean that Demas would rather abandon Paul’s friendship than face the difficulties and challenges of relationships --- and faith for that matter. During Paul’s time, it was inevitable that a disciple would feel uncomfortable, ridiculed, imprisoned, and unaccepted. With our present time, relationships and faith undergo difficulties. Often, the test of the depth of friendship is in the storms both friends weather together. If one is not willing to face the challenges, the relationship becomes stagnant and eventually dies.

Perhaps we can glimpse why sending disciples in pairs becomes a wise decision: depth is achieved through dialogue and communication. St. Ignatius said that love consists in the communication of the lover and the beloved. So, if you have relationships that are going down the drain, those on the rocks, those that are drifting apart, the solution might be simple: talk.

Doulos

15 October 2007. St. Teresa of Avila
Romans 1, 1-7, Psalm 98, Luke 11, 29-32

In the first reading, Paul introduces himself as the slave of Christ to a Roman Christian community he didn’t know personally. In Greek, a slave is ‘doulos’. It means two things: first, doulos commands a definitive love and loyalty from a slave to his master. Paul experiences the tremendous love of Christ for him that he offers himself totally to Jesus, like a slave to his master. Second, ‘doulos’ is used to describe the great heroes of God: Moses, Joshua, the prophets, the apostles, and will soon be used also for the saints. These great men and women find their honor in their being ‘doulos’ to God and their fellow human beings.

St. Teresa of Avila is one of the great women reformers of the Church. In 1562, she began to reform her order of Carmelites through absolute poverty and the renunciation of property which she wrote into a Constitution. She formed religious Order of the Discalced Carmelites; communities of men and women inspired by her lifestyle. St. John of the Cross was among her ‘products.’ Discalced means having no footwear; thus members of her community would wear sandals instead of shoes. (Discalceation have been practiced also in rituals by Masonic lodges who would remove a shoe during their rites.) For St. Teresa of Avila, her outward expression of poverty is her being a slave of Christ.

The times and circumstances in which the lives of both Paul and Teresa were eras of change and renewal. In Paul’s time, many people were seeking a stable faith in the time of morale degeneration during the Roman empire. Teresa’s time was the end of the reformation and the beginning of great explorations. We are no different from them. We secure what does not change: Christ himself as He would assert in the Gospels. But, we too have to realize that our time calls for change.

The Gospel gives us two important questions. Just as the Ninevites responded to Jonah’s plea for repentance, so should we ask how readily and quickly do we respond to the call of the Lord. Vatican II in 1965 called for reform in the liturgical life of the Church. Have we been quick to adjust to the new changes. Or, do we still want the old way which we are comfortable with; or adapt to the changing times? What is the quality of our response to the Lord when “he has made known his salvation? (Psalm 98)”

Second, just as the Queen of Sheba was eager to hear the wisdom of Solomon, are we eager to learn new things so as to proclaim the Gospel in the present time?

Developing a Culture of Gratitude

14 October 2007. 28^th Sunday in Ordinary Time
2 Kings 5, 14-17; Luke 17, 11-19 Developing a Culture of Gratitude

At the end of the first semester of school year 2007-2008, the readings today are timely and appropriate. We find people in the readings expressing their gratitude: Naaman, the Syrian, returns to Elisha, the prophet, to thank him and Yahweh for his cure; and one leper returns to Jesus to pay his gratitude to Him.

The image of the grateful person who returns to give thanks is very important. The images of the readings articulate one of our deepest desires: we would appreciate any show of gratitude from the people whom we serve and love. We wish our children would come and tell us, “Thank you, mom! Thank you, dad!” We wish our friends would remember what we have done for them. We wish that our co-workers would stop for a minute to thank us for taking their job when they were absent. We may find it a little awkward to say this, but it is true: we want to be appreciated. In fact, a word or a note of thanks can make our day.

St. Ignatius of Loyola said that the most abominable sin is ingratitude. He said that the foundation of our relationship with God should arise from a deep and sincere recognition of His gifts to us. Therefore, even God would appreciate gratitude.

We live in a culture of ingratitude. We always wanted to get something out of everything we do, and if possible, to get more than what we deserve. A high grade for something we did not work for. Recognition for something we have little contribution. Wrecking the environment is an act of ungratefulness. We take from those who have really worked for it the appreciation they earned. Naturally, the ungrateful person becomes selfish and self-absorbed.

I believe, on the other hand, we need to develop a culture of gratitude and appreciation. A grateful person builds the morale of others. In his overflowing appreciation of having been given gifts which he or she is not worthy, a grateful person naturally shares the gifts to others. A grateful person becomes generous and will not count the cost of service. The person will not ask, “What can I get from this?” but will say, “How can I contribute?” The person then becomes loving and other-oriented; most of all, the person forms communities.

In order to be grateful persons, we need to develop a habit of recognizing God’s goodness. In his book, Pscho Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz said that we need 21 days to form a habit. Thus, we need 21 days to create or to cease to form a habit. To be a grateful person, we can follow these steps from St. Ignatius of Loyola.

The first thing is to express gratitude for the experiences and encounters during the day that have been pleasant and meaningful, whether they seem very trivial or ordinary. We can thank the Lord for the morning, the smell of food or the taste of breakfast, the kind words from someone, the lesson we learn in class or the nice shower after a hard day’s work.

Second, we express gratitude for the larger gifts such as our faith, life, talents, abilities, important friendships and relationships. We recall the strengths we have in a time of difficulty, the intelligence we showed in an exam, our sense of humor when everyone else is sad.

It is therefore appropriate that we end the first semester with a grateful heart. And perhaps, begin to spend the semestral break with a new habit of appreciation. At least for the Philippines today, the semestral break is after all almost a month, more than 21 days to renew our hearts.

Ex Opere Operato

11 October 2007. Thursday of the 27^th Week in Ordinary Time
Malachi 3, 13-20 Ex Opera Operato

The first reading is taken from the prophet Malachi. His book is written to correct the lax religious practices of the Israelites and the priests in the newly restored temple of Jerusalem. For example, the priests of the temple are cheating: they are commanded to offer unblemished offerings (Leviticus 1), but the priests are offering sick animals, hoping the people will not notice. But the people are disillusioned, and so they said that ‘it is vain to serve God… rather must we call the proud blessed; for indeed evildoers prosper.” And so the people follow suit.

Malachi tells the people that they have not been faithful and that they are not giving God what He deserves. He tells the people to serve God faithfully and to His commandments. This will bring them greater blessings. In the end of time, those who serve God faithfully will be separated from the evildoers. The Gospels tell us that the sheep and the goats will be separated. The faithful (sheep) will be rewarded and the evildoers (goats) will be punished.

Religious and civil leaders influence many people. In many ways, this causes a lot of stress for many ministers --- being an example of goodness is indeed very hard and challenging. People are watching us and oftentimes follow what we do --- more than what we say. Like teachers, students remember how they are than what they teach. The scandals in the Church have disillusioned a number of the faithful. And so they say, “what is the relevance of coming to confession, when the priest is more sinful?” Or, “why should we pay taxes to the government when government officials squander it all? Why do the proud and the evildoers prosper, and the good suffer? If those who accept bribery in the government made money, then I will follow suit for my family. You cannot eat your high ideals and principles.

When Malachi reminds the people that they are not giving God what He deserves, we are reminded to keep in mind the focus of our lives. I was fourteen years old when the priest in my hometown threw the paten at me. The paten is a shallow disk which holds the Eucharistic host. He threw the paten at me, like a Frisbee, as I sat at the church organ. He thought that I was noisy. But I was the only one at the choir area. This greatly embarrassed me and I resolved not to serve at mass. My mom kept reminding me that I did not serve the priest --- I serve God and the people. God deserves my service since He gave me my talents.

In the Church, the validity and the effect of the Sacrament comes ex opere operato (by the very fact of being administered; from the work, having been worked), which means that the sacrament is valid regardless of the personal holiness of the minister who gives it (Compendium of the Catholic Church, 224). The focus is the work and not the worker.

I guess this is what Malachi is teaching us today. Often we are taken out of focus. We are not saying that the ministers and the government officials are not culpable of their sins. But we are asked to see beyond them: the greater good where the taxes should go, the people who deserve our services, the God who is the primary reason for worship.

Feeling Bad over Something Good

10 October 2007. Wednesday of the 27^th Week in Ordinary Time
Jonah 4, 1-11, Psalm 86, Luke 11, 1-4 Feeling Bad over Something Good

Let’s look into the prophet Jonah. God wanted him to do a job, but he refused. God did not want a ‘no’ for an answer, so he pursued him wherever he went --- even the fish. When Jonah relented, he went to Nineveh to complete his task. But when Nineveh obeyed God and repented, he felt bad. Why did Jonah feel bad? If you look at the history of many prophets who were called by God, Jonah was lucky. Noah preached for 100 years, but only 8 people entered the ark; Jeremiah preached without results for 40 years; and many others got a cold shoulder. But Jonah witnessed an entire city --- a ‘great, enormous city’ --- repent!

Jonah preached repentance, but he expected his audience to be reject repentance. In fact, he expected Nineveh to be punished by God. However, instead of turning away from God, the people of Nineveh turned to God. Jonah expected supreme punishment; but he was disappointed that God did not castigate them.

There are people who hurt us and we wish them misfortune. And since they have been causing us harm, we expect them to experience the same pain we have undergone under them --- and maybe, we wish them more terrible harm. However, we get surprised when they begin to change. We cannot believe that they are already asking us to forgive them. They are already repenting. We would rather see them in pain first, as their karma or retribution for us, before being forgiven and thus sparing them from the pain we wished for them in the first place. Bago kita patatawarin, sana magtiis ka muna para maranasan mo ang dinanas ko!

But Scriptures say that kindness is far greater than justice. God's mercy and graciousness is celebrated in the Responsorial Psalm today. God’s mercy to the Ninevites is greater than giving them the punishment they deserved, after all they have been too proud and they forgot God.

When we pray the Our Father as in the Gospel of Luke today, we remember the Kingdom of God comes, when God’s will is done both on earth as it is in heaven. That means, when mercy is granted to the sinner on earth, then God’s kingdom is realized; when we forgive those who hurt us without seeking revenge, we help in the realization of the Kingdom of God.

And whether a person or a group of persons who have hurt us or caused us harm have repented before they received their punishment, we have to rejoice --- not complain. As Jesus said: heaven rejoices over one sinner who repents than on the ninety-nine righteous people.

Nineveh

9 October 2007. Tuesday of the 27^th Week in Ordinary Time
Jonah 3, 1-10; Psalm 130; Luke 10, 38-42

Nineveh was a very important city of ancient Assyria situated at the eastern bank the Tigris River. The Book of Jonah in the first reading called it an ‘exceedingly large city’ that could be traversed for three days probably in circuit. Sennacherib made Nineveh a great city (700 BC). He built streets and palaces with at least 80 rooms lined with sculpture, and the library of Asshurbanipal containing clay tablets. These has been unearthed by archaeology. Nineveh became rich because it became a melting pot of commercial routes crossing the Tigris, and it connected the Mediterranean Sea and the Indian Ocean. The sin of the inhabitants of Nineveh was pride. When Nineveh was attacked by the Medes and the Babylonians in 612 BC, the sudden fall was imputed on Nineveh’s pride.

Paul Ricouer said that a fault or a sin becomes unforgivable when it is not forgotten; when it is always remembered. A mistake or a blunder becomes unforgivable when we keep a record of wrongdoings. The pride of Nineveh is recorded in the books of Kings and Chronicles; its tragic fall is mentioned in the book of Nahum and Zephaniah and further recalled by the Gospel of Matthew (12, 41) and Luke (11, 32). The Clint Eastwood movie, Unforgiven (1992), affirms this notion: William Munny who tried to reform because of his wife is the ‘unforgiven’ because people still remember how he killed people in the past. William Munny was now old and despite his change, his fault was never forgotten.

The faults that we have committed often paralyzes us that we are unable to change. The paralysis is either attributed to others who impute it on us or to ourselves when we are plagued by guilt. A large part of this paralysis is an invitation first to look into the depths of our sins; to come and see the horror of our sins. The palmist today explores the seriousness of our sinful acts, “If you, O Lord, mark inequities, who can stand?”

The proposal of the Gospel becomes important by inviting people to eat; eventually to forgive. Jacques Derrida said, “Forgiveness is directed to the unforgivable or it does not exist. It is unconditional; it is without exception and without restriction. It does not presuppose a request for forgiveness: one cannot or should not forgive; there is no forgiveness, if there is any, except where there is the unforgivable.”

Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians says this about love: “Love does not keep a record of wrongdoings.” But love does not wallow in the past, especially when one is defeated. Love, especially as we follow our conscience, moves us towards God.

In other words, we can know the depths and seriousness of our sins by doing what Mary did: listen to Jesus. Or, we may look at our experiences when our faith was tested. The people from Nineveh also repented. So, God did not continue what He planned to do.

In Its Time

7 October 2007. 27^th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Habbakuk 1: 2-3; 2:2-4; Psalm 95, 1-9; Luke 17, 5-10

The disciples in the Gospels asked Jesus to increase their faith. And Jesus began by giving them the image of the mustard seed. The seed is a small embryonic plant enclosed in a covering or a seed coat; thus the seed eventually develops into a plant. In other words, the seed is an image of growth or a process of development. And the process of development in seeds cannot be forced or speed up. Faith also involves a process. In the first reading from the prophet Habbakuk, we hear Habbakuk complaining that his cries for help in the midst of violence and destruction have not been heard by God. And God answered that fulfilling his prayers has its own time, and, like a seed, presses on to fulfillment. It will surely come and it will not be late; and if it delays, it is best to wait. God’s answer hits us right on the target: we are an impatient people, we want to do things nice and quick, or we want to have things at our own bidding. Our norm is this: everything should be done ASAP.

There is a story in Nikos Kazantzakis’ Zorba the Greek that tells us why we should respect the pace and process of nature, and thus, even the pace and process of our faith. The story is as follows: “I remember one morning when I discovered a cocoon in the back of a tree, just as a butterfly was making a hole in its case and preparing to come out. I waiting awhile, but it was too long appearing and I was impatient. I bent over it and breathed on it to warm it. I warmed it as quickly as I could and the miracle began to happen before my eyes, faster than life. The case opened; the butterfly started slowly crawling out, and I shall never forget my horror when I saw how its wings were folded back and crumpled; the wretched butterfly tried with its whole trembling body to unfold them. Bending over it, I tried to help it with my breath, in vain. It needed to be hatched out patiently and the unfolding of the wings should be a gradual process in the sun. Now it was too late. My breath had forced the butterfly to appear all crumpled, before its time. It struggled desperately and, a few seconds later, died in the palm of my hand.

That little body is, I do believe, the greatest weight I have on my conscience. For I realize today that it was a mortal sin to violate the great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the external rhythm. I sat on a rock to absorb this New Year’s thought. Ah, if only that little butterfly could always flutter before me to show the way.”

This leads us to the second point. We increase our faith by keeping our gaze on Christ as our source and goal. As the seed gets nourishment from the soil for its growth, we increase our faith by taking nourishment from Christ, as we do at mass. But the seed also takes guidance for its growth from the sun. In Biology, this is called positive phototrophism, the direction of growth is guided by the light source. That is why shoots go toward the direction of the sun.

The same thing with faith. There are different ways as Zorba’s butterfly towards the same sun. The Parable of the Servant is against the belief that if we do the minimum, we have done our duty. The servant who just arrived from plowing and tending the sheep is still requested to prepare dinner and to wait at table until the Master finishes his meal.

So too with faith, we cannot say that we have been good Catholic Christians when we have fulfilled our Sunday obligations, prayed the rosary or have done fasting and abstinence. We are asked to do more. In the spirituality of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the more is the magis. It is not about quantity like adding work, but it is about quality: putting your all in everything that you do, whether the work is commonplace as washing dishes or extraordinary as organizing a relief operation. Our faith increases simultaneously as we work on it.

Embarking on a Journey with Francis of Assisi

4 October 2007 Thursday of the 26^th Week in Ordinary Time
Nehemiah 8, 1-12, Psalm 19, Luke 10, 1-12: St. Francis of Assisi

All spiritual journeys begin with a crisis. In the first reading, the temple of Jerusalem was in ruins and Nehemiah was determined to rebuild it. His request was granted by the king, and thus he embarked on a journey, not just to rebuild the place of worship, but also to renew the faith of the people through the Law. The disciples also embarked on a journey, to preach the good news, and by doing so, laid the foundations of a community.

St. Francis’s crisis began in his home in Assisi, Italy. As the son of a noble, he spent his days with his friends. One day a beggar came to them only to be ignored. Nevertheless, Francis gave the beggar all that he had in his pockets. His father and friends mocked him for this charity. When he was about twenty years old, Francis fought the Perugians, but was taken prisoner for more than a year. He contracted a low fever that made him consider the things of eternity. He had been living a life of comfort, loving the good life of a nobleman. It was during this time that he felt the emptiness of living his life.

When he returned to Assisi, Francis prayed before an ancient crucifix in a wayside chapel of San Damiano, where he heard a voice saying, “Go Francis, and repair my house, which you see is falling into ruin.” Interpreting the voice literally, Francis set out to repair the ruined church, getting textiles from his father’s shop, sold his horse and textiles to secure the money needed for the reconstruction. The church was eventually constructed, and the Francis’ band of friends who joined his cause, rebuilt not just the San Damiano, but many other churches as well. However, deeply than the physical reconstruction, Francis also renewed the Church which in many ways ‘ruined’. His life of poverty brought a new sense of discipleship, a new way to proclaim the Good News of Christ.

In January 2002, Pope Benedict XVI wrote this about St. Francis, when a great number of the world’s religions and many Christian communities flocked to Assisi to talk and pray about peace and justice, and the reconciliation of peoples and religions:

“And it was only after this experience that it became possible for him to hear and understand the voice of the Crucified One who spoke to him in the tiny St. Damian Church, which was in ruins, the very symbol therefore of the church of the time, profoundly rotten and decadent. Only then did he see how great was the contrast between the nudity of the Crucified One, his poverty and humiliation, and the luxury and violence that had once seemed normal to him. And only then did he truly know Christ and understand too, that the Crusades were not the way to defend the rights of Christians in the Holy Land. He saw, rather, that one had to take the message literally in imitation of the Crucified One… If we as Christians embark on the journey of peace following St. Francis’s example, we cannot fear any loss of our identity. For it will be only then that we find it. And if others join with us in seeking peace and justice, neither they nor we ourselves can have any fear that the truth will be crushed… No, if we seriously set out toward peace, then we will be on the right road because we will be on God’s own road to peace (Rom 15, 33). God whose face was made visible to us as Christians through faith in Christ.”

Reflect on these words by our Pope. He tells us that we should embark on a journey, we have to leave our comfort zones, in search of peace.

What Keeps Us Alive

3 October 2007. Wednesday of the 26^th Week in Ordinary Time
Nehemiah 2, 1-8, Psalm 137, Luke 9, 57-62

A few days before Christmas, my grade school teacher asked us to draw a picture of something to be thankful for. Many of us drew matchboxes (these are little toy cars in the late 70s), food, a house, a family. But one of my classmates drew a hand.

Everyone tried to guess what the hand was all about or whose hand he drew. Of course, everyone thought it was God’s, or his parents. But no one could tell. He too do not want to tell us. When the bell rang for recess, our teacher came to him and asked, “whose hand did you draw?” He said, “yours!”

Our teacher was deeply touched. She recalled the hands she used to guide his pencil, or the hands that drew the lessons on the board, or the hands that led him around school. The boy was lame.

The point of the readings tell us how important gratitude is in discipleship. Nehemiah said about Cyrus, the Great granting him permission to rebuild the temple, “the king granted my requests, for the favoring hand of my God was upon me.” And Psalm 137 would remind us, “Let my tongue be silenced if I ever forget you.” Remembering God’s goodness is the way towards a greater commitment to the Lord, and would help us along the way of discipleship. GK Chesterton said that “gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” It is joy with awe at a God who gives us gifts we don’t deserve.

It is good to recall and give thanks for the many good things God has given us. We can practice gratitude for many basic goods, like being alive and kicking, being with the people you love, being with students and the younger generation who reminds you of hope, having food to eat, or a school to learn and meet new friends.

The practice of gratitude is a very valuable exercise especially at the most difficult periods in our lives. When I am in a crisis, when suddenly I just feel tired and lonely, or when something do not turn out right, I look at my scrapbook where I collect Christmas cards, letters, notes from my family, friends and significant people in my life. So instead of focusing on the negative things, I focused on what was good: the love of my family and friends, my accomplishments, the personal fulfillment of great days. My prayer would just be like that: thanking God for all the blessings and graces He has given. Thornton Wilder said, “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

True, when we think we are at the brink of death, when we reach rock bottom, the way up is to count our blessings.